Surviving the Two-Week Wait: What Really Helps

When you’re in the thick of infertility treatment, it can feel like your life becomes one long stretch of waiting. First, you wait months just to see an IVF specialist. Then comes the endless fertility tests. Once testing is done, you start your IVF cycle medication and wait for your egg collection. After that, you wait for your embryos to be created. Finally, you have your embryo transfer. It’s waiting layered on waiting. And if you’ve been through the gut-wrenching experience of a miscarriage, there’s often another three-month wait before you’re physically – and emotionally – ready to try again.

But perhaps the hardest wait of all is the two-week wait.  

Also known as the TWW. The time between your embryo transfer and the day of your pregnancy blood test. Ask anyone going through IVF, and they’ll tell you how awful this time is. How it agonisingly crawls by. It’s impossible not to think about whether you’re pregnant. You want it so desperately that the thought consumes you. The anxiety can feel suffocating. And then there are the physical symptoms.

I remember early on in our IVF journey, I was convinced I felt pregnancy symptoms during my TWW. I had twinges I was sure were implantation. Then, two days before my pregnancy blood test, the nausea hit. I even dry-retched into the kitchen sink one morning. So when my blood test came back negative, I was shocked and devastated. What I didn’t realise, and what many IVF specialists don’t always explain, is that IVF medication, especially progesterone, can mimic pregnancy symptoms. A cruel trick. So the bloating and nausea I was experiencing was nothing more than my progesterone pessaries. As if the process wasn’t hard enough already.   

The TWW can be an intensely emotional time, fuelled by anxiety and amplified by medication that can cause mood swings and fake pregnancy symptoms. And you have the added burden of the medication causing mood swings and mimicking pregnancy symptoms. So how do you get through?

Here’s what helped me during my TWWs:

1.     It’s OK to not be OK. This period is incredibly hard. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, angry, emotional or upset. It’s OK to feel so many emotions and not be ok.  

2.     Don’t test early. This is a hard one. The temptation to take a home pregnancy test is huge. But false positives, and false negatives, are common. I learned this the hard way. After our second IVF transfer, I tested early and got a positive result. I was pregnant but my hCG was too low. I was told I would miscarry. It turned out to be a ‘pregnancy of an unknown location’. Given the pregnancy wasn’t viable, and it would have been dangerous if it continued, I had methotrexate to end my pregnancy. A devastating time. From then on, I always waited until the day of the blood test.

3.     Prioritise self-care. Self-care isn’t optional during the TWW – it’s essential. Do things that bring you comfort or distraction: binge a TV show, book a massage, or have a weekend away. I found going to the movies was the perfect escape. Whatever helps you feel good or takes your mind off the wait is worth doing.

4.     Skip baby showers and gender reveal parties. These are hard enough when you’re dealing with infertility but during the TWW, they can be unbearable. Give yourself permission to decline these events. Protect your emotional wellbeing.

5.     Counselling. If you’re seeing a therapist or a fertility coach, make sure you schedule a session or two during this time. Talking things through can make a huge difference.  

6.     Surround yourself with support. Similar to self-care, make sure you surround yourself with friends and family who support you and make you feel good. People who make you feel safe, understood and cared for. It can also be incredibly comforting to talk to someone else going through fertility treatment – someone who truly gets it. The online #TTC community is also a wonderfully supportive space.