Looking After Yourself at Christmas When Trying to Conceive

I was wandering through a shopping centre 4 weeks ago when I heard it: “We wish you a Merry Christmas.”Not even December yet—and the Christmas music was already blasting.

Because Christmas is never just a week or two. It’s months of build-up. Decorations, parties, school concerts, shopping… an explosion of festive everything at every corner.

For many, Christmas is joyful—warm, cosy, full of togetherness. But if you’re facing infertility at Christmas, it can feel like a minefield of triggers and expectations. It can be a relentless reminder of the one thing you want—desperately—and don’t have yet. And then there’s that question people ask far too casually: “So… when are you having kids?”

Why infertility feels harder during the holidays

If you’re TTC (trying to conceive), going through IVF, or living with pregnancy loss, the holidays can turn up the volume on everything you’re already carrying.

I remember during our own fertility journey wanting to hide under the blankets and fast-forward to January 1.

Christmas can also come with practical heartbreak—like fertility clinics closing over the holidays, meaning missed windows, delayed transfers, and extra weeks of waiting that feel endless. I remember one year hoping my period would arrive by early December to allow a transfer… it came two days too late. Then everything shut, and we had to wait until mid-January. Agonising.

And if you’ve experienced miscarriage or pregnancy loss, Christmas can hurt in a different way again—especially if your loss happened around the holidays, or your baby was due around this season. That grief can feel sharp and lonely, even in a room full of people.

Navigating infertility during Christmas and New Year

If you’re struggling with infertility during the holidays, here are supportive, practical ways to protect your heart and your mental health.

1) Skip (or limit) celebrations

If you can, skip the office party or the extended family gathering this year—or simply limit how many events you attend. You don’t owe anyone your presence at the cost of your peace.

2) Limit social media

Father Christmas photos. Matching PJs. Elf on the shelf. Bump updates. Family “perfect” reels.If social media feels like a constant stream of reminders of what you want so badly, it’s okay to mute, unfollow, or take a break—just for now.

3) Shop online if you can

Christmas can be intensely commercial, and shops are designed to pull you into festive noise and pressure. If it helps, protect your peace—shop online and avoid crowded triggers.

4) Talk to a professional

Whether you’re in fertility treatment, considering next steps, or grieving a loss, speaking with a therapist, counsellor, or fertility coach can help you process the emotions that can surge at this time of year.

5) Lean on the TTC community

You don’t have to do this in silence. The TTC community can be a lifeline—whether through IVFbabble, support groups, or people you trust online who “get it” without you having to explain.

6) Prepare for unsolicited advice (and intrusive questions)

There’s often one nosey relative or colleague who can’t help themselves. Having a few gentle scripts ready can protect you:

• “We’re keeping that private for now, but thank you for understanding.”

• “We’re on a medical journey—when there’s news to share, we will.”

• “Infertility is a medical condition. ‘Relaxing’ isn’t a cure.”

Then change the subject. You’re allowed to set boundaries.

7) Build a small self-care menu

Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect. Think tiny and doable: a long walk, a favourite TV show, a comforting meal, an early night, a book, a bath, a coffee with someone safe, just having ‘time out’ with your partner celebrating Christmas. Choose whatever nourishes you.

8) Let your feelings be valid

Infertility is painful. It’s consuming. And at Christmas it can feel amplified. Anger, sadness, jealousy, numbness, frustration—whatever you’re feeling is human. You don’t need to “positive mindset” your way out of grief.

*as featured in IVF babble

Infertility at Christmas: The 12 Days of Christmas survival guide

*As featured in IVF babble.

The holiday season is often a time of joy and celebration. It’s filled with laughter around the dinner table and the magic of children opening presents from Santa on Christmas morning. But for those with infertility, Christmas can feel like a magnifying glass on what’s missing. It can be a painful reminder of the one thing you desperately want and would do anything to have.

As we know, infertility is often an invisible grief and it’s suffered in silence. While some share pregnancy announcements in Christmas cards or head to the shops for Santa photos with their little ones, those facing infertility often feel isolated in their pain.

If you’re facing infertility this Christmas, here’s 12 gentle suggestions to help you through this difficult period:

Day 1

Remember you are not alone. Infertility is a medical condition, a reproductive disease. Millions of people worldwide suffer from infertility. You are not alone.

Day 2

Reconnect with your partner. Infertility is all consuming, and often stressful, so it’s no surprise that it can sometimes put a strain on your relationship. Try to make the most of the holiday season by enjoying some quality time with your partner.

Day 3

Prioritise self-care. Do things you love doing and that nourish you. Whether it’s having a massage, going for a long walk, catching up with friends for dinner…do whatever it is that makes you feel good.

Day 4

Connect with the #TTC community. Whether through Instagram, Facebook or here at IVF babble, there’s an active and thriving online infertility community. Find those people and lean on them during this time.

Day 5

Make a plan for 2026. For some, being proactive and having a plan in place can give you hope. Whether it’s booking your next appointment with your fertility specialist or trying something new like fertility acupuncture, a plan can give you peace of mind.

Day 6

Acknowledge your feelings. Infertility is hard. It’s all consuming. It’s often painful. You may feel a million different emotions like grief, jealously, sadness, or anger. Often all at once! During Christmas, these emotions can feel stronger. But all your feelings are valid and it’s important to acknowledge them.

Day 7

Ask for help. A therapist or fertility coach can help you navigate any big emotions during the holidays. Maybe book in some extra appointments leading up to Christmas. 

Day 8

Celebrate in your own way. You may not feel like celebrating Christmas and that’s OK. You may feel like hiding under the covers and skipping ahead to the new year. But if you can, try to celebrate Christmas in ways that make you feel good. Maybe it’s time with family or your partner, eating turkey and pudding, or opening some presents under the tree.

Day 9

Be selective with events. Family gatherings, work celebrations, catch ups with friends…there’s so many events over Christmas. Pick and choose which ones you want to celebrate. You can just skip the event with the noisy uncle or drink work colleague who’s going to ask you, “When are you going to have kids?”. Christmas parties can also often be full of children so if you find that too triggering, make sure to limit these events.

Day 10

Lean on your support network. Whether it’s the online community, IVF babble, or maybe some friends who are going through the same as you, reach out to your network. Talking to someone, especially someone who actually gets it, can be very beneficial over the holidays.

Day 11

Find new traditions. Christmas is a time of celebration and tradition. Maybe some new traditions can be a good distraction and also give you some joy.  

Day 12

Find glimmers of gratitude and joy. This can be a hard one, but where you can, notice any small things that give you happiness and joy. Whether it’s time with your partner or friends, or enjoying a new Christmas tradition, take some time to seek out those moments.

Your first IVF cycle: What to expect

When you first start IVF, it can be daunting. During our IVF and surrogacy journey, I felt excited and hopeful but also overwhelmed. Some weeks fertility treatment felt like a full-time job. And while there are some differences between countries and IVF clinics, here’s what a typical first IVF cycle looks like.

The Preparation

1.     Paperwork. Police checks, child protection checks, consent forms and payment forms.

2.     Mandatory couple’s counselling.

3.     Blood and urine tests. This includes testing for infectious diseases and checking your hormone levels.

4.     Pelvic ultrasound. To assess your uterus and check for any abnormalities, e.g., cysts.

5.     Semen analysis. To measure the number of sperm and their ability to move. About 40 per cent of infertility is attributed to male infertility. 

6.     The Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) blood test. A hormone secreted by cells in developing egg sacs (follicles). The level of AMH in your blood helps predict approximately how many eggs you have left.

Our first IVF cycle

Day 1-11

·       The first day of your IVF cycle is day one of your period.

·       I took a 75 Gonal-f injection daily (a moderate dose because I had multiple follicles). Gonal-f helps to stimulate your ovaries to over produce eggs. You also need to inject yourself at the same time every night.

Day 6 -12

·       Every two days, I visited the hospital for an ultrasound and blood test to monitor my follicles and to check my hormone levels (progesterone and oestrogen). 

Day 9-13

·       Towards the end of my egg stimulation phase, I started to take a Orgalutran injection. This is used to prevent you from ovulating too early.

Day 14

·       Ovidrel injection, the ‘trigger’ shot. The injection to make you ovulate. The timing of this is crucial as it needs to be taken at precisely 36 hours before your egg retrieval.

Day 16

·       Egg retrieval surgery. A day procedure where the eggs are collected from your ovaries. Under general anaesthetic, an ultrasound probe is inserted into your vaginal wall to identify follicles and then a needle is guided through. The needle goes into each of the ovarian follicles and gentle suction is used to pull out the fluid and the egg that comes with it.

·       The retrieval takes about 30 minutes, but allow a few hours for pre surgery checks, paperwork, and recovery. I was back at work the next day but for three days after, I had cramping and bloating.

·       Once the eggs are collected, they are fertilised. We fertilised our eggs using Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI). This is where a single sperm is injected into each egg. It is often considered your best chance of fertilisation because there is no risk of the sperm swimming aimlessly in the petri dish unable to find an egg!

My results

·       Eleven eggs were collected, a good result. In later collections, with a higher dose of Gonal-f, I collected 15-20 eggs.

·       The following day, I was told that out of eleven eggs, nine had fertilised. On average, around 60-70 per cent of mature eggs will fertilise.  

·       On day five, I learned five embryos had made it to blastocyst stage and were being frozen.

·       A blastocyst embryo is an advanced stage of development. Blastocyst embryos are graded (A, B, and C). A and B are the best; they have well defined and smooth cells. In contrast, C embryos have irregular and dark cells and few of them. But the only true way to measure the quality of an embryo is through Pre-Genetic Screening (PGS).

·       Before they’re frozen, the embryos undergo assisted hatching. A laser is used to gently thin the outer shell of the egg (the zona). If the embryo can hatch out of the shell more easily, there’s a higher chance of implantation. 

Day 17-35

·       From three days after Ovidreal injection until the pregnancy blood test on day 35, twice daily I used vaginal progesterone pessaries. Given progesterone is usually produced during a women’s natural cycle, the pessaries are needed to maintain progesterone levels during early pregnancy.

·       If you receive a positive pregnancy result, you continue the progesterone pessaries throughout your first trimester.

Transfer day – Day 22

·       For the IVF transfer , an embryologist prepares your embryo by placing it in a catheter. Under guided ultrasound, the fertility specialist then threads the catheter up through your cervix and into your uterus. It only takes about 10 minutes. The most uncomfortable part is having a half full bladder.

·       On the day of the IVF transfer, the embryo is thawed about an hour beforehand. For blastocyst embryos, approximately 90 per cent of embryos survive the thaw.

Day 35 – The pregnancy blood test

·       Two weeks after my embryo transfer, I had a blood test to measure my hCG, THE pregnancy hormone. Sadly our first IVF transfer was negative but it’s not uncommon to take more than one transfer for IVF to work.

This is a run-down of a typical IVF cycle, but you can learn more about all the steps involved here.