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  • Writer's pictureKirsten McLennan

You didn't cause your infertility

Infertility is unfair. It’s outside your control. It’s nothing you did or didn’t do. It’s a reproductive disease that impacts millions of people.


And yet, every time a fertility treatment fails, it can feel like a personal failure. I know I felt this way many times.

Struggling to fall pregnant, miscarrying, and then later learning I couldn’t carry a baby to term - It felt like my body was failing me. Thank goodness for our beautiful surrogate who helped bring our son into the world.



It wasn’t until after our son was born and I had time to reflect on our journey that I realised a treatment failing doesn’t mean you have failed. Infertility is a medical condition. According to the World Health Organisation, it’s a reproductive disease that affects millions.


It’s easy to think - What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get pregnant? But what are you doing wrong? Absolutely nothing. Like so many medical diseases, infertility is indiscriminate and outside your control. You’re not infertile because of something you did or didn’t do.

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