Looking After Yourself at Christmas When Trying to Conceive
- Kirsten McLennan
- Dec 24, 2025
- 3 min read
I was wandering through a shopping centre 4 weeks ago when I heard it: “We wish you a Merry Christmas.”Not even December yet—and the Christmas music was already blasting.
Because Christmas is never just a week or two. It’s months of build-up. Decorations, parties, school concerts, shopping… an explosion of festive everything at every corner.
For many, Christmas is joyful—warm, cosy, full of togetherness. But if you’re facing infertility at Christmas, it can feel like a minefield of triggers and expectations. It can be a relentless reminder of the one thing you want—desperately—and don’t have yet. And then there’s that question people ask far too casually: “So… when are you having kids?”
Why infertility feels harder during the holidays
If you’re TTC (trying to conceive), going through IVF, or living with pregnancy loss, the holidays can turn up the volume on everything you’re already carrying.
I remember during our own fertility journey wanting to hide under the blankets and fast-forward to January 1.
Christmas can also come with practical heartbreak—like fertility clinics closing over the holidays, meaning missed windows, delayed transfers, and extra weeks of waiting that feel endless. I remember one year hoping my period would arrive by early December to allow a transfer… it came two days too late. Then everything shut, and we had to wait until mid-January. Agonising.
And if you’ve experienced miscarriage or pregnancy loss, Christmas can hurt in a different way again—especially if your loss happened around the holidays, or your baby was due around this season. That grief can feel sharp and lonely, even in a room full of people.
Navigating infertility during Christmas and New Year
If you’re struggling with infertility during the holidays, here are supportive, practical ways to protect your heart and your mental health.
1) Skip (or limit) celebrations
If you can, skip the office party or the extended family gathering this year—or simply limit how many events you attend. You don’t owe anyone your presence at the cost of your peace.
2) Limit social media
Father Christmas photos. Matching PJs. Elf on the shelf. Bump updates. Family “perfect” reels.If social media feels like a constant stream of reminders of what you want so badly, it’s okay to mute, unfollow, or take a break—just for now.
3) Shop online if you can
Christmas can be intensely commercial, and shops are designed to pull you into festive noise and pressure. If it helps, protect your peace—shop online and avoid crowded triggers.
4) Talk to a professional
Whether you’re in fertility treatment, considering next steps, or grieving a loss, speaking with a therapist, counsellor, or fertility coach can help you process the emotions that can surge at this time of year.
5) Lean on the TTC community
You don’t have to do this in silence. The TTC community can be a lifeline—whether through IVFbabble, support groups, or people you trust online who “get it” without you having to explain.
6) Prepare for unsolicited advice (and intrusive questions)
There’s often one nosey relative or colleague who can’t help themselves. Having a few gentle scripts ready can protect you:
“We’re keeping that private for now, but thank you for understanding.”
“We’re on a medical journey—when there’s news to share, we will.”
“Infertility is a medical condition. ‘Relaxing’ isn’t a cure.”
Then change the subject. You’re allowed to set boundaries.
7) Build a small self-care menu
Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect. Think tiny and doable: a long walk, a favourite TV show, a comforting meal, an early night, a book, a bath, a coffee with someone safe, just having ‘time out’ with your partner celebrating Christmas. Choose whatever nourishes you.
8) Let your feelings be valid
Infertility is painful. It’s consuming. And at Christmas it can feel amplified. Anger, sadness, jealousy, numbness, frustration—whatever you’re feeling is human. You don’t need to “positive mindset” your way out of grief.
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