Infertility at Christmas: The 12 Days of Christmas survival guide

*As featured in IVF babble.

The holiday season is often a time of joy and celebration. It’s filled with laughter around the dinner table and the magic of children opening presents from Santa on Christmas morning. But for those with infertility, Christmas can feel like a magnifying glass on what’s missing. It can be a painful reminder of the one thing you desperately want and would do anything to have.

As we know, infertility is often an invisible grief and it’s suffered in silence. While some share pregnancy announcements in Christmas cards or head to the shops for Santa photos with their little ones, those facing infertility often feel isolated in their pain.

If you’re facing infertility this Christmas, here’s 12 gentle suggestions to help you through this difficult period:

Day 1

Remember you are not alone. Infertility is a medical condition, a reproductive disease. Millions of people worldwide suffer from infertility. You are not alone.

Day 2

Reconnect with your partner. Infertility is all consuming, and often stressful, so it’s no surprise that it can sometimes put a strain on your relationship. Try to make the most of the holiday season by enjoying some quality time with your partner.

Day 3

Prioritise self-care. Do things you love doing and that nourish you. Whether it’s having a massage, going for a long walk, catching up with friends for dinner…do whatever it is that makes you feel good.

Day 4

Connect with the #TTC community. Whether through Instagram, Facebook or here at IVF babble, there’s an active and thriving online infertility community. Find those people and lean on them during this time.

Day 5

Make a plan for 2026. For some, being proactive and having a plan in place can give you hope. Whether it’s booking your next appointment with your fertility specialist or trying something new like fertility acupuncture, a plan can give you peace of mind.

Day 6

Acknowledge your feelings. Infertility is hard. It’s all consuming. It’s often painful. You may feel a million different emotions like grief, jealously, sadness, or anger. Often all at once! During Christmas, these emotions can feel stronger. But all your feelings are valid and it’s important to acknowledge them.

Day 7

Ask for help. A therapist or fertility coach can help you navigate any big emotions during the holidays. Maybe book in some extra appointments leading up to Christmas. 

Day 8

Celebrate in your own way. You may not feel like celebrating Christmas and that’s OK. You may feel like hiding under the covers and skipping ahead to the new year. But if you can, try to celebrate Christmas in ways that make you feel good. Maybe it’s time with family or your partner, eating turkey and pudding, or opening some presents under the tree.

Day 9

Be selective with events. Family gatherings, work celebrations, catch ups with friends…there’s so many events over Christmas. Pick and choose which ones you want to celebrate. You can just skip the event with the noisy uncle or drink work colleague who’s going to ask you, “When are you going to have kids?”. Christmas parties can also often be full of children so if you find that too triggering, make sure to limit these events.

Day 10

Lean on your support network. Whether it’s the online community, IVF babble, or maybe some friends who are going through the same as you, reach out to your network. Talking to someone, especially someone who actually gets it, can be very beneficial over the holidays.

Day 11

Find new traditions. Christmas is a time of celebration and tradition. Maybe some new traditions can be a good distraction and also give you some joy.  

Day 12

Find glimmers of gratitude and joy. This can be a hard one, but where you can, notice any small things that give you happiness and joy. Whether it’s time with your partner or friends, or enjoying a new Christmas tradition, take some time to seek out those moments.