I loved chatting to @manicmumdaymovement recently about my IVF and surrogacy journey.
To hear the full episode, click here.
Celebrating all things womanhood, Manic Mumday has some fantastic episodes from some inspiring and amazing women on a number of different topics.
Thank you @manicmumdaymovement for the opportunity to share my story.
I loved chatting to sisters - Jem and Maddy - recently about their surrogacy journey. The most beautiful story of the love and resilience of two sisters.
When 31 year old lawyer Jemani Alchin-Boller diagnosed with cervical cancer and told she needed a radical and urgent hysterectomy, she thought her dreams of being a mother were dashed. Then her sister Maddy sent her a text saying, "You can have my womb".
You can watch my ivf babble interview with Jem and Maddy here.
To read Jem and Maddy's incredible and beautiful story, you can buy their book 'Amazing Grace' (author Venetia Sherson) at amazinggrace.co.nz or visit their Instagram page @amazinggracenz
For anyone struggling with infertility, baby showers can be tough. Here's what I learned...
I know during our infertility, I dreaded baby showers. Being surrounded by excited squeals and endless reminders of the one thing I didn't have and yearned for. It was brutal.
With my good friends, I always went. Their baby showers were intimate, understated and beautiful. They would also check in with me, before and after, to make sure I was ok. But outside of close friends, I didn't go.
I often felt guilty and selfish - Why couldn't I just put my feelings aside and feel only happiness for them? Why did I often cry after? Why did I feel the sharp sting of jealously?
What I learned?
Your feelings are valid. You're going through something incredibly hard and emotional. It's OK to feel crap about baby showers. You're only human! It's OK to feel a mix of emotions - sadness, happiness, jealously...all are valid.
It's OK not to go! If you're not particularly close to the person, I doubt they'll miss you. And if you are close to them, as a good friend, they'll understand.
If you do go, have a plan in place. For me, that always meant:
Having a friend there to lean on / stay close to who knew what I was going through.
Traveling there by myself so that I could leave any time (or going with a good friend who would understand and be happy to leave when I needed to)
Having a good cry before and/or after if I needed to. Not having other plans on that day so I could have time and space afterwards to work through any emotions.
Infertility is hard. It's all consuming. It's a roller coaster of emotions. It's OK to put yourself first and do what you need to get through it. Your feelings are valid.